The Quick Guide To New Year's Resolutions: Get it Right this Year!

I’m not the biggest fan of New Year’s Resolutions…at least not in the way we typically go about them.

Three reasons!

New Year’s Resolutions Start at the GOAL

New Year’s Resolutions often having you starting right at your goal rather than working toward your goal. January 1st is not a magical day. You have to start somewhere and work up to your goal date. The only way to make change last is by implementing it into your life little by little.

New Year’s Resolutions Lack

Contemplation and Preparation

Often, usually in December, when I hear someone talk abut their upcoming New Year’s Resolution, they may mention it, but usually avoid the subject.

When you decide that you want to start a new habit, you’ll want to take some time to think about it and prepare for it. Let your brain begin to associate you with the new behavior in a positive way. Visualize how it can fit into your schedule. Buy what you'll need to accomplish it.

Talk about your new habit, think about it, hang out with people that do it and learn about what they do, have and are because they do it.

New Year’s Resolutions Can Be Lonely

Find an accountability partner that has the same goal as you. Believe me, you’ll be way more likely to go to a spinning class if your neighbor is at your door, dressed and ready to ride!

New Year’s Resolutions Perpetuate Harmful Beliefs

Your beliefs are simply thoughts that you have over and over. If you keep on falling short at bringing a new healthy habit into your life, you may start to think that you’re a failure, or someone that just can’t change. Keep in mind, these thoughts aren't even true! If you think these thoughts enough, you begin to believe them and if you believe them you may stop trying to change altogether.

Keep in mind, New Year's Resolutions are my specialty! Poke around my website for tons of information on how to make change last for good.

Also, I am currently offering my signature talk for FREE right now, if I haven't ever spoken at your organization, school or business.

Happy New Year!

Cheri

The "After the Holidays..." Put Off

Before you casually throw out another, "I'lll get to that after the holidays," take a moment to think about how really far off that is...

I mean, if we're talking about after New Year's Day, that's THIRTY FIVE days from now! That's exactly, FIVE WEEKS from now...

And who knows how long you've been spouting off this procrastination phrase BEFORE Thanksgiving even showed up!

Really?? You can't work in a lunch date or a fun get together?

Yes, the month of December is busy, but I think most of us tend to really overestimate how much we have going on and really overestimate how much magical time is going to show up at our door come January.

So, just give it a little thought before you put it off is all I'm suggesting. Me? I started my 5 lb. weight loss plan on Friday. Yep! Right in the middle of the holiday craziness. Wish me luck...I'm just sayin' why put it off???

Speaking of January! NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONISTS! I'm talking to YOU! Go here http://web.me.com/cheriflake/The_Stress_Therapist/Newsletter_Archives_files/The%20New%20Year%27s%20Resolutionist%27s%20Mistake%20pdf.pdf

to learn about the NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONIST'S MISTAKE! Don't make it and call me if you need a hand, New Year's Resolutions are my specialty and I can get you on track and changing for good.

Remember, I offer a FREE 20 minute consultation.

Happy Holidays,

Cheri

Be Early and Be Merry!

Rather than kill yourself this holiday season, start now little by little to get the job done.

This doesn't mean that you need to lug out the tree just yet...just buy things that you will need as you see them. This means ending the, "I'll come back for that" lie that lends to the stress of the season as the holidays approach.

Buy. It. NOW.

I get it if you are looking for a better deal or waiting on a sale, but otherwise, go for it. Stash away all of the goodies and gifts that you buy before Thanksgiving and when you go to get organized for the holidays, it will be like Christmas for you when you discover that you've already gotten a few gifts out of the way!

Stopping for a coffee? Buy a gift card for your mailman. Grabbing some milk? Check out the array of gift cards available near the check out line for stocking stuffers. Need a dress for that cocktail party? Pick up a sweater for your sister, too. You'll be amazed how much you can get done so early.

The kicker is that these early gifts will actually be thoughtful ones since it's not a last minute obligatory buy.

Who knows? Without the stress of the crazy, last minute, hustle and bustle, you may get a chance to actually enjoy the season this year!

Yay!

Peace,

Cheri

How to Stay Motivated...

How Motivation Works 101:

The most important and often overlooked concept here is this:

Motivation comes after action, never before.

So, you'll have to get yourself moving, just the littlest bit, to start breeding the motivation to stick to something.

If this doesn't make any sense to you, you may be confusing inspiration with motivation.

Getting inspired is easy...a flower, a Rocky movie, a song...but staying motivated is the trick to long-term change.

Only do a little something to get the motivation rolling. If you do too much, your brain will convince you that the new behavior is way too cumbersome and do whatever it can to get you to stop.

Once you start feeling good about being a runner, or a guitar player, or a Spanish speaker, stop after only a little bit of action to keep that motivation coming to get you back in your running shoes, picking up the guitar and practicing your Spanish. Although it may be counterintuitive, restricting the desired behavior that you want, will get you wanting more and more of it, so stop the new behavior just when you're in the height of feeling good about it.

Knowing that motivation comes after action, taking the little by little approach and restricting your new, desired behavior regularly will do more then just get you motivated, it will actually keep you motivated!

Peace,

Cheri

Thinking Backwards...

If you are waiting for one thing to happen in order to make something else happen, you may want to stop waiting and get on it...

One of my clients today, who loves to decorate, said that she wants to buy a new painting for her dining room, but just can’t until the whole house is perfectly clean and tidy. “I mean, what’s the point, if the whole house seems a mess?”

I suggested to her that since your home is always a work in progress, and nothing will ever be perfect, she may feel motivated to get her house in order and keep it clean if she surrounds herself with beautiful things that she loves. The painting may inspire her to put away things that make it ugly or make her feel anxious.

Remember, feeling good is the goal.

Peace,

Cheri

Get it done...Fast and Easy!

Hello!

Sometimes when we are putting off things like crazy, when we finally get to them, it seems that we're in slow motion-making the task at hand all the more cumbersome.

The next time you are finally getting around to something that doesn't take a lot of brain power, try doing it as fast as you possibly can. Put on your ipod and try to clean out your car before the song is over or set your stop watch to 1 minute and see if you can empty the dishwasher or get your toddler dressed in record time.

Why prolong the dreaded?

Sometimes you can even burn an extra calorie or two if you do a task super fast-like housework or making your way around Target or Ikea to pick a few needed things up.

Also, your brain will love the way that you didn't waste any time on something that's not fun and be much more forgiving the next time the task makes it on your to do list-helping you stomp out the procrastination problem.

Peace,

Cheri

Do Everyone Else A Favor and Ask For Help...

It's really hard...it's even harder, for some strange reason, if you're a woman. But, it's sometimes the very best thing that you can do for yourself.

Here's the kicker...if it still feels weird and impossible. Asking for help may actually be added to the long list of things that you are actually doing for other people.

People don't want to hear "busy" when they ask you how you're doing. They don't want to hear a diatribe of things you're angry or bitter about. Lastly, you'll have more fun and just be more pleasant to be around if you aren't weighed down, overworked, and overcommitted.

You can do it. Just not alone. And that's ok.

Peace,

Cheri

The Universe Often Knows Best...

Sometimes when we are at a crossroads and we need to make a decision about something, the anxiety just from being undecided can be too much. Often, we haphazardly make a decision just to ease the anxiety and later find that we may have been a bit hasty.

The next time you find yourself just wanting the decision process to be over, take a moment, then a deep breath and ask yourself to be patient. Allow there to be some time between the presentation and the ultimate decision and you may begin to notice how the Universe is working at easing you toward one way of thinking or another. During the gap of indecision, there is opportunity to take in assistance to guide your way if you just be quiet. Listen. Notice. Allow.

The Universe may have something to tell you.

Peace,

Cheri

Try Walking Down A Different Street...

We've all heard Einstein's definition of insanity, "...doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results." Being stuck can be incredibly stressful. The first step in changing our plan of attack is to realize that what we are doing isn't working.

I'd like to share a story with you that I heard from a talk by Dr. Wayne Dyer recently. I think it really illustrates how we need to change the way we think about things and behave, in order to get ourselves to move forward with change and progress in our lives. Here goes:

Chapter One of My Life

I walk down the street. There's a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost. I am helpless. It's not my fault. I still take forever to find a way up.

Chapter Two

I walk down the same street. There's a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don't see it. I fall in again, I can't believe I'm in the same place! It isn't my fault, but it still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter Three

I walk down the same street. There's a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it there and I still fall in! It's a habit. My eyes are open. I know where I am. It's my fault. I get out immediately.

Chapter Four

I walk down the same street. There's a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it.

Chapter Five

I walk down a different street.

Peace,

Cheri